I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
