I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You smell like stripper and shame
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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