Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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