it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
