Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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