talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
