I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
