Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
