I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
