Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
