my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I forgot how hot balto sounded
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
