May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
