I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Best friends brother. Beat that.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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