Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
