she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
