i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
