I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
