Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
