He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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