How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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