last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
