I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
