So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
