We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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