dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Two words: blizzard sex
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
