yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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