In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
