i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
