a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
