Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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