Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
