but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize