I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
