what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
