Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
