Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
