I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
