She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
