Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
