Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
