omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I had to cum in my sink.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
