he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
