your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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