Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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