he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
