Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
