My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
