bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
