somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
