You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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